So what is a Wordnut, anyway?
Posted: August 31, 2009 Filed under: Copywriting & Creative, writing | Tags: Advertising, Copywriting & Creative, Language, words, writing Leave a comment »Certainly, you might infer that a wordnut is one who is nuts about words. But when it comes to my business, I like to think of it another way. The word is a kind of nut, the seed of everything. The beginning of thoughts, ideas, and opinions. From words come sentences, claims, and promises. Out of words grow respect, trust, and understanding. Sure, I am nuts about words. But I am also a planter of words, sowing them in rows so that they grow large in the consciousness of the customer. I plant the seeds from which success can spring. Who wouldn’t be nuts about that?
Short words
Posted: August 1, 2009 Filed under: Language, Vocabulary, writing | Tags: Gelett Burgess, Language, short words, writing 2 Comments »
Gelett Burgess, a technical drawing teacher turned writer, penner of silly poems, and editor, published an essay back in the 30s called “Short Words are Words of Might.” He wrote the whole thing using one-syllable words. It reminds us of the power of our own Germanic language roots and how early words seem to have evolved from emotion itself. Come to think of it, some of the best words we have are four-letter ones.
Big flowery Latinate words are quite stupendous in their place, but as my 11th grade English teacher would tell you, never use a 50-cent word when a nickel word will do. Burgess demonstrates that our nickel words really are our most valuable by far.
Here are some excerpts:
“Short words must have been our first words when the world was young. The minds of men were raw… Their first words were, no doubt, mere grunts or growls, barks, whines, squeals like those of beasts. These rough, strange sounds were made to show how they felt. They meant joy or pain or doubt or rage or fear…
“But these sounds came, in time, to grow more and more plain as real words. They were short words, strong and clear. And these first short words, used by our sires way back in the dark of time, still have strength and truth. They are bred in our flesh and bone. We may well call such words the life blood of our speech.”
“Short words, you see, come from down deep in us — from our hearts or guts — not from the brain. For they deal for the most part with things that move and sway us, that make us act… That, I think, is why short words tend to make our thoughts more live and true.”
Magazine writing leaves me short-winded
Posted: July 9, 2009 Filed under: Publishing, writing | Tags: article writing, editors, freelance writing, magazine writing, magazines 2 Comments »For this writer, magazine editors have always been a bit of a mystery. One magazine paid me more for my amateur photos than for my professionally written article. In fact, I often get the sense that magazines don’t value writing all that much. Recently, however, I sent a 2,000-word feature to a major outdoor magazine. I got back a glowing note from the editor. He called it “delightful” and “very nicely done.” He said it had “just the right tone, with great detail.” “Funny,” too, he said. I was ecstatic. Then came the next paragraph.
Due to a backlog of feature articles and dwindling editorial space in the magazine, could I perhaps distill it down to 300 choice words AND retain some of the humor?
“Disappointing” doesn’t begin to describe it. And yet, the Sally Field in me wasn’t entirely squelched. So now I am writing a short piece for one of the magazine’s recurring columns. I’m still excited at the prospect of a writing credit in a really good magazine. But I’m also anxious. The only thing harder than editing your own (delightful, funny) work is throwing away 5/6ths of it.
Maybe I should have sent photos instead.
Purple people?
Posted: July 7, 2009 Filed under: Language, writing | Tags: Copywriting & Creative, misplaced modifiers, squinting modifiers 4 Comments »Adjectives and adverbs (and adverb clauses) modify other words. Simple enough, unless you put them in the wrong place. A great example of a misplaced modifier is this one from Groucho Marx: “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.” Of course, the rest of the joke is: “How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”
Much less obvious is a “squinting modifier,” a word that may modify either a word before it or a word after it in the sentence.
Brushing my teeth often is a nuisance.
Does “often” modify “brushing” or “is?”
In his famous song, Sheb Wooley sings of a “one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater.” Many people, sensible people, have wondered whether the word “purple” modifies “eater” or “people.” If you listen to the lyrics closely you discover the truth:
I said Mr Purple People Eater, what’s your line?
He said eating purple people, and it sure is fine
But that’s not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock ‘n roll band
Had “people eater” been combined to form one word–peopleeater–or perhaps hyphenated–people-eater–then you could determine that the eater was purple. But only if you could read the lyrics. Of course, the monster could very well be purple AND eat purple people. Sometimes food determines coloration. Shrimp-eating flamingos come to mind. Also, Gerber carot-eating babies.
How many times have you seen a sign such as “Old Book Shop,” or perhaps even “Ye Olde Booke Shoppe?” Is this a shop of old books or merely a book shop that is old? Likewise, I know people who describe themselves as “rare booksellers.” This is clearly not their intention. They may, indeed, be a rare breed, but what they mean is, the books they sell are rare. Better, then, to be a “seller of rare books.” Of course, this kind of stuff can drive you crazy if you let it.
I noticed on my other blog, I called the Outer Banks “a small boater’s paradise.” Could I really mean that it is a paradise for boaters who are small? Probably not. I could have avoided the possibility by simply saying “a small boat paradise.” But that takes away the human element, doesn’t it?
“The Outer Banks is a paradise for users of small boats” certainly takes away all doubt. But I don’t like it. So I have to use my own judgment and decide whether my language is confusing or not. And whether I care if someone chooses to “misread” it.
A few more modifier problems I found while browsing the internet:
The patient was referred to a psychologist with emotional problems.
Whether wearing a turtleneck or a low-cut top with a push-up bra, guys like checking out our boobs.
They bought a puppy for the girl named Fido.
Three horses were reported stolen by the Memphis police.
The point is, as a writer you can easily miss squinting or misplaced modifiers because you know what you mean. In advertising and marketing, this can lead to miscommunication, which can be merely annoying or down right detrimental. Modifiers, like low-cut tops, deserve a second glance to make sure they don’t leave the reader squinting or scratching his head. Or wondering if a purple people eater could possibly be green.
Randy is a poet, and you didn’t know it
Posted: June 1, 2009 Filed under: Publishing, writing | Tags: Avatar Review, literary magazine, Poetry 3 Comments »Three poems in the new edition of the Avatar Review.
Song lyrics are just all right with me
Posted: May 25, 2009 Filed under: writing | Tags: song lyrics 2 Comments »I listen to song lyrics more than I should. They often disappoint. Paula Cole’s “I Don’t Want to Wait” starts out
So open up your morning light
And say a little pray for I
God, me hate that.
Perhaps the lyric that gives me the most consternation is “Jesus is just alright with me.” It brings up all kinds of questions. First we have to look at this word “alright”. In formal English, of course, the spelling is all right. Taken literally, that would mean everything is right about Jesus. But more often than not, all right or “alright” means “okay,” it’ll do in a pinch. Jesus is just okay with me. In which case, you’d hardly write a song about Him, would you? The song was composed by a gospel singer around 1960. (The song was first recorded by the Byrds and then made semi-famous by the Doobie Brothers.) The lyrics talk about Jesus as “my friend.” So you get the sense that we’re supposed to take the lyric positively. So what’s that “just” all about?
There is another use of “alright”–as an exclamation. You say, “Kids, let’s go get pizza.” And the kids exclaim “Alright!” That would make a sort of sense in the song. Jesus is just alright! with me. The just there would be a kind of “you know,” a pause as the singer thinks of just the right word. Jesus is, you know, alright with me.” I guess “alright” could be a cool, understated way to say “awesome.” Could it be as simple as the composer wanting to say, “Jesus is alright with me” but needing an extra syllable to fit the music structure, and so he just stuck in a “just?” Anyway, the song comes across as just ambivalent about Jesus.
But I think we like that in a rock song. The worst songs are the ones with sentimental, perfectly understandable lyrics that wear themselves out in short order. Better to have a song like those from the band YES, who later on, I understand, admitted that their songs are fairly meaningless. They merely came up with thoughtful sounding phrases that fit perfectly into the musical structure, and the result was a sort of quasi-poetry that you can almost get, but never quite, as in this refrain from “Your Move”:
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I’m on my way.
Or the chess-infused lyrics that are all about the game and queens and such, but who really knows:
‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and its news is captured
For the queen to use.
At least there is the invitation to explore the language and perhaps invent our own meanings. Unlike the in-your-face teen talk found in Kelly Clarkson’s latest beauty. Notice the phrasing in the song is a lot like three lines of a poem, drawn out and suspenseful but, of course, the words themselves make you think poetry is dead forever:
My life
Would suck
Without you.
Wish I could say the same, Kelly.
When a seasoned freelancer is your best choice
Posted: May 18, 2009 Filed under: Copywriting & Creative, writing | Tags: Advertising, Copywriting & Creative, freelance writing, hiring a freelance writer, marketing, writing 3 Comments »No matter what time of day it was, a certain wiseacre client would call me and invariably ask “Did I wake you?” Ha, ha, ha, (sigh). Little did he know (or care) that I got up at 5:30 am. He was joking, of course, but that kind of stereotypical view of freelancers is pervasive. The reality is, to be in business for yourself, raise a family, and supply them with decent shelter, food, and transportation, you’ve got to be pretty good at what you do and serious about it too.
So, in this difficult economic time when your company may be struggling, it might be worth noting that there is a solution to mediocrity, dwindling profitability, and high overhead: the seasoned freelance writer.
Here are four times when a career freelancer is your best bet for quality, speed, and affordability.
1. When you want experience and skills you couldn’t otherwise afford. The best freelancers are independent for a reason; they can make more money freelancing than they can working in a salaried position, and they have more freedom and flexibility, to boot. They’ve worked for the broadest range of clients and delved into the greatest variety of subject matter. Chances are they know how to best meet your communications objectives because they’ve been there before.
2. When you want a writer who welcomes the work. The harder a freelancer works, the more he makes. That makes for a happy worker. Throw extra work on a salaried writer and what happens? Oppression. Irritability. And if it doesn’t result in reduced productivity and lower quality, then it results in covert job searches. And, really, when you think about it, if you were going to make the same money whether you took on another project or not, wouldn’t you be tempted to work at your own comfortable pace and say, “I’m working to capacity?”
3. When you want a writer who doesn’t cost a dime. Sometimes it’s hard to know who works for whom these days. If you are looking for work to keep your salaried employees busy, then you are working for them! A freelancer requires no upkeep, no desk, no space, no benefits. You don’t have to pay him to chit-chat with co-workers, keep up on Facebook, go to the bathroom, or pick his nose. Think of all the time an employee can waste. Think of all the time YOU can waste making sure he doesn’t waste his!
You can use a freelancer only when it will be profitable for you, when there’s a budget for it, or when you can bill the time to a client. In the end, a good freelancer doesn’t cost you money; he makes you money. The ratio of “hours actually worked” to “hours paid for” is always 1:1 with a freelancer. What is it for a salaried employee?
4. When you want a lasting, long-term resource. Some people see freelancers as the option of last resort, folks who can’t get real jobs, who are unreliable and sleep until noon. I am sure this type of hippy-go-lucky writer exists. But he won’t last long. Having been in business for 23 years, I can tell you that a reliable independent writer can be found. The trick is to find a good writer with whom you can form a lasting relationship. That way he looks to you for ongoing projects, and you can look to him as a reliable source of creative services. It’s a nice symbiotic, permanent relationship. The company account stays balanced. The quality of the work is high. Deadlines are met. The boss or client is happy. And you get peace of mind. What’s that worth?
Your marketing and communications materials are like a three-legged stool supported by writing, graphic design, and production. If any one of those is weak, the whole piece collapses. A seasoned freelancer can help make sure your communications stand up and stand out.
Ifs, Ands and Buttheads
Posted: April 28, 2009 Filed under: Copywriting & Creative, Language, writing | Tags: clients, Copywriting & Creative, Elements of Style, English, grammar, Strunk and White 9 Comments »Someone once told me (a client, actually) that we call them “clients” because we can’t call them a–holes. Indelicate, to say the least, and certainly not true of my current clients:-). But I have had a few such clients in the past.
One guy hired me when I was just starting out to produce a newsletter. It turned out to be part of a pyramid, multi-level, downline scheme. He was shifty and shady and left me holding the bill for printing. He told me my writing was “full of grammatical errors.” Like what? I asked.
“You can’t start a sentence with ‘and’ or ‘but,’ he declared. Yes you can, I assured him. I have a master’s degree in English, after all, so I should know. “Well, you better go back to skewl then!” he drawled.
There are still a few people out there who don’t understand that correctness isn’t always determined by the rules for formal English you learned in “skewl.” There’s a big difference between formal English and the conversational English we use every day in our speech and which is purposely leveraged by magazine writers, advertising writers, and others who write for the general public.
Why be informal? Because that’s how you connect with people on a personal level. It provides a sense of familiarity and friendliness. It makes what you write a little more interesting and compelling and accessible and human and engaging and, well, the list goes on.
Formal, academic English has its place. But so does the sentence that starts with “and” or “but.” And the sentence that’s comfortable with the preposition it hangs out with. Not to mention the sentence your English teacher would consider “incomplete.” Like this one.
The more at ease you become with your own language, the better writer you will be. And that means not letting the ghost of your English teacher or, worse, Strunk & White, haunt you.
For the linguists and grammarians who contributed to this NY Times article, S&W’s fifty-year-old The Elements of Style, with it’s narrow vision of what writing is, has become a dinosaur and even an unwitting deterrent of writing in general.
A disservice to education, says one. The first 14 pages are still gospel truth but the rest is baloney, says another. As someone who has never liked rules very much, I savor such insubordinate clauses.
Well, I’ve got to go. A client needs me. Seems his client is being a real client, as they say.
Wordcracker: Solutions
Posted: March 5, 2009 Filed under: Copywriting & Creative, Language, Vocabulary, Wordcracker, writing | Tags: Advertising, business writing, Copywriting & Creative, marketing, Solutions 4 Comments »It’s everywhere, this word solutions, especially in business, advertising and marketing. And although folks are pretty fed up with it and there is discussion all over the internet about how it is overused, I’m here to tell you that solutions will remain a part of advertising communication. After all, the best answer to a customer’s problem is always going to be the solution.
The problem–and it is such a big problem that I actually had a client tell me to avoid the word entirely–isn’t so much that the word is overused. It’s that the word is misused. Too often we see the word as an end-all, as if it means something or everything all on its own:
We sell solutions!
Used in this way, the word is empty. Who doesn’t sell solutions? But more importantly, solutions to what? This is akin to saying, “We provide services!” The only difference is that a solution sounds like a service that actually works. Still, the hollowness rings.
We also see the word in a lot of company slogans and descriptive taglines:
Advanced software solutions
Okay, a little more specific. But is software the problem and you have the solution? Or do you have solutions in the form of software? If the latter, we still don’t know what problems are being solved or how anybody benefits. There’s just too much dependence on the word solutions as a substitute for more specific, concrete language.
While the examples above cry out for a ban on the word, writer’s like myself in the trenches of persuasive writing still depend on it, and I won’t give it up without a fight. Here is an example that shows what, in my opinion, is an acceptable and even advantageous use of the word:
We create crime-fighting software applications that prevent check fraud and eliminate identity theft, real solutions that can protect your bank and your customers.
Now the word solutions is out of the limelight but still helps us position the software as a product that fully solves specific problems.
Solution will always serve nicely as an alternative for other much-used words, such as service and product. But it can’t be used as substitute for substance or for the language necessary to communicate a benefit to the prospect.
Only in the presence of the problem is solution the solution.
What’s your take?
Snow, a writer, and saints
Posted: March 3, 2009 Filed under: Copywriting & Creative, writing | Tags: Advertising, Gardening, Religion, saints Leave a comment »
A rare Memphis snow brought March in like a lion. This is St. Fiacre (7th C.) who guards our rosemary and other herbs in the backyard. I enjoy him because he’s known to fewer people than St. Francis of Assisi who stands in so many gardens and yards. Francis is the patron saint of animals, the environment and even a whole country–Italy. Fiacre, on the other hand, is the patron saint of gardeners and you can tell him apart, when he’s not cloaked in snow, by his spade and a bouquet of flowers that loosely makes a cross.
There are patron saints for just about everything. Some designations are official while others are just invented and perpetuated for fun (probably by irreverent copywriters). St. Hedwig as the patron saint of baldness, for example.
This photo got me to wondering. Who is the patron saint of writers? Turns out it’s another Francis––St. Francis de Sales––an important bishop in 17th Century France. He wrote some extremely influential books including Introduction to the Devout Life in 1608, and, as a result, was named patron saint of writers and journalists in 1923.
I wonder if his patronage extends to advertising copywriters. With a name like St. Francis de Sales you’d think so.
Of course there is, believe it or not, a patron saint of advertising: St. Bernardine or Bernardino of Siena. He was a great preacher and communicator who had an aversion to “indecent talk.” Just the guy the ad business needs.
