Randy Parker

A (rib) bone to pick with Forbes and Memphis’ “miserable” status

In copywriting, creative, marketing, tradition, writing on March 2, 2010 at 8:13 am

Forbes magazine ranked Memphis third most miserable city this year. In case you think that Memphis is nothing more than crime and Elvis, barbecue and paddlewheelers, put down that pork rib and listen up.

Memphis has a lot more than rock-and-roll; we’ve got the NBA pick-and-roll. The Civil War and civil rights. Beale Street joints and Broadway shows. BBQs and corporate HQs. In Memphis, we’ve got soul. We sit on the porch and sit in the stands. We sit in the center of the U.S. population, delivering goods and services faster than anybody, thanks not to the paddle wheeler but the FedEx jet. And that muddy Mississippi? It happens to roll past some of the best-tasting artesian well water on the planet. This is the real Memphis, one rock-a-billy, hip-hop, can’t stop kind of place. Here you can find yourself or find a cure for cancer. We’re a lazy trolley ride. We’re bustling crowds. We’re a walk in the largest urban park in the nation. Looking for a place to live, work, learn, play, and explore? Read on. We’ll have you right where we want you.  Here with us.

Find your place.

Memphians live in downtown lofts with views of the Mississippi, in suburban colonials with big yards for the kids, and in Craftsman foursquares near park amenities and our world-class zoo. We share lush, tree-lined thoroughfares and white-steepled churches. We share synagogues, temples and mosques. We share upscale shopping and a low cost of living. We share more sunny days than the folks in Miami. And we share what we have with those less fortunate. In fact, Memphians were recently named some of the most generous people in the nation. Here, it’s not a matter of where you want to live but how. You’ll find your place in Memphis.

Roll up your sleeves.

Work brings a lot of people to Memphis. What kind of work do you want to do? Shipping or logistics? Information technology? Biotechnology or health care? Manufacturing?  It’s all here. FedEx, Delta, AutoZone, International Paper, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and many more high-profile employers create exciting and dynamic career opportunities. Want to strike out on your own?  Entrepreneurship thrives here. In fact, Inc. magazine has listed Memphis as one of the best cities in the nation for starting and growing a business. The arts, education, government–they’re all great ways to earn your keep in Memphis. So roll up your sleeves and join us.

Take a desk.

Wonder if Memphis is a smart move? Progressive city and county school systems along with more than 30 private and parochial schools offer a variety of educational choices. We have more than 20 universities, colleges, and professional schools, too, devoted to everything from health care to religion. Memphis is home to the FedEx Institute of Technology at the University of Memphis, the medical colleges of the University of Tennessee, and Rhodes College, consistently listed in the top tier of best liberal arts colleges by U.S. News and World Report. In Memphis, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to continue your education or earn an advanced degree.

Go out and play.

When you are ready for some fun, so is Memphis. Check out NBA Grizzlies basketball, AAA Redbirds baseball, pro hockey, PGA golf, and professional tennis. Visit historic attractions dating back to 1807. Enjoy unique museums and compelling art galleries. Discover our musical heritage. See the pandas and the 3,000 other animals at the zoo. Head south to the casinos of Tunica. Party at Memphis in May events and other world-renowned festivals. Shop at specialty boutiques and regional malls. Enjoy nightlife that lasts ’til dawn. Tired yet?

Discover something new.

Ah, the great outdoors. Memphis is close to lakes, rivers, and streams perfect for boating, fishing,  paddling and exploring. State parks provide excellent camping. Biking and walking trails abound, especially at Shelby Farms, the largest urban park in the country. The Wolf River Greenway and the Memphis Greenline will soon provide miles and miles of uninterrupted hiking, biking and skating bliss. Want to wonder a bit more? A great variety of exciting destinations lie within a day’s drive, including the Smoky Mountains, the Gulf of Mexico, and the South’s other great cities. explore the finer things, too: botanical gardens, professional theater, Ballet Memphis, the Memphis Symphony Orchestra, and Opera Memphis.

Welcome to our town. Once you get settled, put on your blue suede shoes and just start walking in Memphis. Oh, and go ahead and eat that pork rib.  Now that you know the real Memphis, it’ll taste even better.

Wordnut writes several 2010 Addy Award winners

In Advertising, advertising strategy, copywriting, creative, marketing, writing on March 2, 2010 at 6:40 am

I am proud to have conceived and written a number of Memphis Addy Award winners this year, including winners in the following categories: full page color ad in a consumer or trade publication, color brochure/print collateral, and interactive self promotion in the public service category. The consumer ad also won Best of Show–Print! In addition I “concepted” and wrote the materials for a campaign that won numerous awards for its outstanding photography and art direction. As always I am very grateful to my clients who allow me to be a part of their successes (and earn a living in the process). Here are a few of the winners (if you are reading this on the home page, click on the title above to take it full screen so you can actually see this stuff):

The ad

The brochure.  Instead of the usual brochure, it is a collection of cards. The theme is “What will you build?” Each card covers something important you can build when you print on Carolina paper, such as store traffic, sales, pride, respect, profits, and so on.

The campaign for a silly contest for a paper company in which designers were asked to submit photos of themselves looking super serious.

To see the see the winning interactive entry, go here.

New Charmin commercial wipes some the wrong way

In Advertising, advertising strategy, copywriting, creative, marketing, strategy, writing on February 11, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Medical commercials are bad enough. The ED commercials embarrass the devil out of me even as I wonder why anybody would have two separate bath tubs side-by-side. In a field, no less. But the new Charmin toilet tissue commercial? It just grosses me out. I’m talking about the one in which the bear mom examines the bear cub’s rear with a telescope. (Looking for asteroids, I assume.)

I have always disliked the overly cute bears and their butt-rubbing antics, but the newest spot is even worse. It goes into detail about how Charmin is stronger so it doesn’t leave bits of tissue you know where. Have any of us been all that concerned about it? Do you bring up this sort of thing to your friends?  Can we not have some decorum? Can we not infer that a stronger tissue is good without going into details?  Do we have to “draw a picture” for everything? On national television? Well, you might argue, it is a problem and they are in the tissue business. But something tells me they enjoy it just a little too much.

In fact, that’s where I really draw the line–at their new slogan: Enjoy the go!

Enjoy the go? Call me anal retentive, but that’s the last straw. And the last roll. Turn the other cheek? I don’t think so.

I’m switching to Northern.